To feel useful

That must be so wonderful.
To have some kind of talent, some skill, some use.
Some people can dance, others can sing, or paint, or do maths, or build things, or inspire people. Create pieces of art that will still change lives in years to come.

And then there's me. I play bass, although I'm pretty much hopeless. I do photography, but I'm no good. I write, but it goes pretty much unnoticed which I presume means I'm no good at that either. I'm academically an idiot, I have a long list of emotional problems, I spent my childhood alone because no matter what I did nobody liked me and I can't keep a romantic relationship going for longer than a week before it starts to become miserable.

I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like I was put on this earth to be laughed at. I have no real purpose. I'm just in everyone's way.
My brother got straight As throughout school and is at university. He's got his own place, fallen in love, found a degree he loves and is happy.
My friends, I know, are going to go on to become brilliant. Whether they're brilliant within a small circle of people or are known world-wide for their talents. They're going to be somebody.
And I'm going to be here, in this pit of despair. Alone, working a dead-end job because I'm not good enough to do anything else.

I'm tired.